TheRealDookie

Subpar blogging by The R.D........... not at all Notorious, but his waistline is getting kind of B.I.G.

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Location: The O.C., Florida, The Sunny, yet still Dirty, South, United States

Friday, December 09, 2005

How Many Greedy Christians Does it Take to Screw in a Light Bulb?

"With the Holy Ghost/ I put holes in most..."

The R.D. always loves December -- well, especially since he has stopped getting the Christmas flu every year. So, after coming home from Thanksgiving a swollen, jolly, and rested fellow, all seemed at peace with the world. I figured I'd be able to just sit back, relax, and coast through the 4-day workweeks until New Year's. In fact, I hate to admit it, but yours truly was really starting to get filled with the Christmas cheer. Couple the fact that it's the Dookie family's first Xmas in the O.C., with the fact that we don't have to see our money flow like water from a busted pipe to a bloated and undeserving University, with the fact that final exams are a thing of the past, and the Yule Tide was looking pretty damn warm and inviting.

One such example of this was last week...I was driving home from work, early, mind you, and was very content with myself and my place in the world. Christmas decorations were out around my neighborhood and prominently displayed. A radio ad was on from a radio station in a county about 40 minutes away from mine. It invited everyone to come to a certain area in the county and view a "beautiful display of Christmas lights." It boasted that private individuals plus a group funded by the city had combined to create a bright, huge, festive display of holiday lights which would amaze everyone in the whole family. I immediately thought to myself that I should take the fam on a little road trip to see this area to get us in a Christmas-sy mood and see the lights. Then, the final words of the commercial made my jaw drop:

"Only 8 dollars per vehicle!"

What the #$#@&* !!! Things have gotten bad, but I honestly can’t believe that towns and neighborhoods are trying to use Christmas to put holes in people’s already-thin pockets and exercise a little wealth transfer. And, not to mention the price – 8 bucks to go see some lights? That’s more than a movie! And stupid people are going to pay this and encourage more communities to do the same thing! I was so irate at this shitty scheme that it almost took all of my Christmas spirit away. But then I got a recipe for Egg Nog with Maker’s Mark ® and felt a little better.

Seriously, though, what a crappy town. A true Robbin’ ‘Hood. I mean, if you really want to travel to a town which will gladly deprive you of life, liberty, and/or property under the guise of a divine name, all you have to do is go to
Los Angeles.