Drunk Post
"Especially when I'm drunk off the liquor/ Smokin funk by the boxes, packin Glocks is/ natural...."
One of my goals was to make a drunk post. I am attempting to achieve that 2 nite. I am kind of drunk. I drank and then I went home and drank more. Hold on.....
OK. I just took out my Glock and started playing with it. It kind of makes that quote up there more true. But I am not stupid. I am not playing with it loaded. I keep it unloaded because I am careful. It is not a toy. I do not treat it like one. Perhaps "playing with it" was an exaggeration. Please don't send this post to one of those stupid citizen groups. Screw them.
I don't know what else to say. Getting drunk is cool. But the problem is that getting drunk used to be enough. Now, getting drunk is not enough to be cool. You have to get drunk and do something stupid to be cool. I remember when getting drunk was cool in and of itself. I want to go back to those days. Partly because it only took 5 Icehouses to get drunk (and because Icehouses tasted good back then), but also because it was just fun to get drunk. Now, you have to spend a ton of money to get drunk and spend a ton of money to do something else cool . I, as a broke-ass person, am not down with that shiznit. I wish I had mo' money. I mean cash, and not that movie with Damon Wayans.
My gun still smells cool. My wife went out of town and screwed me over. She left me P-nut butter but no jelly, cookie sheets (aka baking trays) but no oven mitts, 2 teabags but no sugar, dishes but no d-ter-gent. I am pissed.
I have a lot more to say.....I want to be h-e-r-d. I am not having too much luck with the opposite sex recently. Wifey and I had a fight. There are 1 or 2 female classmates who will not talk to me much anymore, and I have no idea why. My only female friends are "Camp" and "M.D.Y." And it is not because my blog is offensive to women.
I just realized that drunk I am still more gramatically correct than most of my high school friends. Mabye I am not drunk enough.
Florida is cool. A lot of people diss Florida, but they suck ass. Florida is a fun state that is very closely divided politically. That makes it exciting, not bad. An example of a bad state is South Dakota. It is cold, sucky, cold, sparse, poor, and landlocked. Florida has cool things like sunshine, "no tax week," no state income tax, the Daytona 500, C-World, and more lakes than Minnesota, which calls itself "the land of 10,000 lakes." Those misleading bastards should call themselves the land of 10,000 flakes. I have no more use for this topic.
I started some trends, man. I liked pro wrestling before it was "cool." I like Chappelle's Show before it was "funny." I liked that song, "Victory," on Puff Daddy's album in 1997 before it was "awesome." I liked the High Life before everyone knew it was the "Champagne of Beers." I knew that the election for the Pope was going to be short and was going to elect an insider for the new Pope. I am cool like that. I started the trend of liking me before it was "cool." Oh, wait, that's not cool yet? Oh, okay, well try me again in 10 yrs. or so.
Well, I am probarbly going to pass out now. Thanks for glistening.
-- The Real Dookie
P.S. -- there has been no "Shield Update" for the past 2 weeks. This is because it does not need an update. The Shield is cool and it has continued to be cool for this year entirely. If you don't watch it, you should slit your wrists or at least apply for handicapped funds from the government.
One of my goals was to make a drunk post. I am attempting to achieve that 2 nite. I am kind of drunk. I drank and then I went home and drank more. Hold on.....
OK. I just took out my Glock and started playing with it. It kind of makes that quote up there more true. But I am not stupid. I am not playing with it loaded. I keep it unloaded because I am careful. It is not a toy. I do not treat it like one. Perhaps "playing with it" was an exaggeration. Please don't send this post to one of those stupid citizen groups. Screw them.
I don't know what else to say. Getting drunk is cool. But the problem is that getting drunk used to be enough. Now, getting drunk is not enough to be cool. You have to get drunk and do something stupid to be cool. I remember when getting drunk was cool in and of itself. I want to go back to those days. Partly because it only took 5 Icehouses to get drunk (and because Icehouses tasted good back then), but also because it was just fun to get drunk. Now, you have to spend a ton of money to get drunk and spend a ton of money to do something else cool . I, as a broke-ass person, am not down with that shiznit. I wish I had mo' money. I mean cash, and not that movie with Damon Wayans.
My gun still smells cool. My wife went out of town and screwed me over. She left me P-nut butter but no jelly, cookie sheets (aka baking trays) but no oven mitts, 2 teabags but no sugar, dishes but no d-ter-gent. I am pissed.
I have a lot more to say.....I want to be h-e-r-d. I am not having too much luck with the opposite sex recently. Wifey and I had a fight. There are 1 or 2 female classmates who will not talk to me much anymore, and I have no idea why. My only female friends are "Camp" and "M.D.Y." And it is not because my blog is offensive to women.
I just realized that drunk I am still more gramatically correct than most of my high school friends. Mabye I am not drunk enough.
Florida is cool. A lot of people diss Florida, but they suck ass. Florida is a fun state that is very closely divided politically. That makes it exciting, not bad. An example of a bad state is South Dakota. It is cold, sucky, cold, sparse, poor, and landlocked. Florida has cool things like sunshine, "no tax week," no state income tax, the Daytona 500, C-World, and more lakes than Minnesota, which calls itself "the land of 10,000 lakes." Those misleading bastards should call themselves the land of 10,000 flakes. I have no more use for this topic.
I started some trends, man. I liked pro wrestling before it was "cool." I like Chappelle's Show before it was "funny." I liked that song, "Victory," on Puff Daddy's album in 1997 before it was "awesome." I liked the High Life before everyone knew it was the "Champagne of Beers." I knew that the election for the Pope was going to be short and was going to elect an insider for the new Pope. I am cool like that. I started the trend of liking me before it was "cool." Oh, wait, that's not cool yet? Oh, okay, well try me again in 10 yrs. or so.
Well, I am probarbly going to pass out now. Thanks for glistening.
-- The Real Dookie
P.S. -- there has been no "Shield Update" for the past 2 weeks. This is because it does not need an update. The Shield is cool and it has continued to be cool for this year entirely. If you don't watch it, you should slit your wrists or at least apply for handicapped funds from the government.
posted by TheRealDookie | 2:04 AM
3 Comments:
I think "Liking Mike" is cool, sober or not.
-MC
Mike Jordan, maybe.
As your former roomie, I know that's harder to do than it would seem. Glad you liked it. Expect a drunk dial next time it happens.
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