Go Pro!
“Play ya position, here come my intuition….”
Every year the sports media is saturated with yahoos who kill trees by writing crap articles about why college football is so much better than pro football. These guys have no idea what they are talking about and reading their material is generally a mind-numbing experience guaranteed only to lower IQ points and cause people to bemoan these articles taking up valuable real estate in newspapers, magazines, and websites. Someone should point out to this limited minority of sportswriters the general psychological principle that if you constantly go around trying to tell everyone that one thing is better than another even if they don’t ask your opinion on the subject, the opposite of your view is probably true and this is causing you great grief. Anyway, on the first weekend of pro football, here is a list debunking the drivel in the columns the R.D. has read and stating once and for all why pro football is overwhelmingly better than college football.
1. Every single douchebag who writes that college football is better than pro football starts off by saying how college football has better “traditions” than pro football. Yet, these “traditions” have nothing to do with the actual game. Because Chief Osceola throws a flaming spear into the 50 yard line twenty minutes before kickoff, that makes the college football game better than a pro game? That’s like saying Danielle Steel is a better writer than Ernest Hemingway because her books have nicer cover art. Anyone who is truly a fan will ignore these stupid rationales that have nothing to do with the actual quality of play.
2. The best college football teams’ seasons go something like this: a game against another great college team early in the year, followed by four games against losers, followed by a “tough test” by a lower ranked team, followed by four more “tune up” games, followed by a rivalry game at the end of the year and then a bowl game. In other words, the “best” college teams play three or four “tough” games out of twelve each year. In the pros, every game is a tough game. If pro scheduling were run like college scheduling, the NFL would have gone bankrupt 30 years ago.
3. Related to this, college football writers always say that college football is “better” because college teams only play their arch-rivals once a year, whereas in the pros teams play their rivals usually twice a year. How in the hell is this a positive for college football?
4. Pro games take about three hours. College games take about four hours. Enough said.
5. In the pros, each conference is not responsible for its own referees. Refs are standardized and rotated throughout the league so no team can benefit from the refs’ familiarity with them. Imagine what the Gators’ record would look like if they never played in front of an “SEC officiating crew.”
6. If a player switches teams in the NFL, he doesn’t have to sit out a year.
7. There are only 32 NFL teams, all of them loaded with talent, thus making it possible to actually know and follow the players on every team without having to spend three days in a soundproof room with 200 game films from last year, 400 local newspaper articles written by people with community college degrees, and a case of Tab Energy Drink.
8. Pro football’s championship team has to win at least its last three games in a row, in a tournament of the best NFL teams, to be crowned champion. A loss early in the year or a loss late in the year before the playoffs start means nothing. College football’s champion only has to get enough votes from the media to make it to a major bowl game and then win that one game.
9. Pro football can actually afford to have more than three camera angles covering each game, and the camera operators will not seek cover if it is raining or switch from the game to show you the look on the coach’s wife’s face (or the player’s mother’s face) after somebody gets jacked up.
10. The talent.
11. The talent.
12. The talent.
13. The salary cap. One team cannot monopolize the available talent in the sport, thus insuring the wealth or the history of one institution cannot carry it the following year.
14. A hack like Steve Spurrier couldn’t make it in the pros. Yet, he is considered one of college football’s greatest coaches. More than anything else, this should make you question NCAA football.
15. Finally, in the pros, there is no such thing as the BCS.
Okay, there are probably dozens of more reasons why college football couldn’t lick pro football’s behind, but this should at least settle the debate. Feel free to add more if you’d like, but I’m going to watch some pre-game shows. And to all you college football writers who the R.D. has just described, Click Clack, bitches!!
Every year the sports media is saturated with yahoos who kill trees by writing crap articles about why college football is so much better than pro football. These guys have no idea what they are talking about and reading their material is generally a mind-numbing experience guaranteed only to lower IQ points and cause people to bemoan these articles taking up valuable real estate in newspapers, magazines, and websites. Someone should point out to this limited minority of sportswriters the general psychological principle that if you constantly go around trying to tell everyone that one thing is better than another even if they don’t ask your opinion on the subject, the opposite of your view is probably true and this is causing you great grief. Anyway, on the first weekend of pro football, here is a list debunking the drivel in the columns the R.D. has read and stating once and for all why pro football is overwhelmingly better than college football.
1. Every single douchebag who writes that college football is better than pro football starts off by saying how college football has better “traditions” than pro football. Yet, these “traditions” have nothing to do with the actual game. Because Chief Osceola throws a flaming spear into the 50 yard line twenty minutes before kickoff, that makes the college football game better than a pro game? That’s like saying Danielle Steel is a better writer than Ernest Hemingway because her books have nicer cover art. Anyone who is truly a fan will ignore these stupid rationales that have nothing to do with the actual quality of play.
2. The best college football teams’ seasons go something like this: a game against another great college team early in the year, followed by four games against losers, followed by a “tough test” by a lower ranked team, followed by four more “tune up” games, followed by a rivalry game at the end of the year and then a bowl game. In other words, the “best” college teams play three or four “tough” games out of twelve each year. In the pros, every game is a tough game. If pro scheduling were run like college scheduling, the NFL would have gone bankrupt 30 years ago.
3. Related to this, college football writers always say that college football is “better” because college teams only play their arch-rivals once a year, whereas in the pros teams play their rivals usually twice a year. How in the hell is this a positive for college football?
4. Pro games take about three hours. College games take about four hours. Enough said.
5. In the pros, each conference is not responsible for its own referees. Refs are standardized and rotated throughout the league so no team can benefit from the refs’ familiarity with them. Imagine what the Gators’ record would look like if they never played in front of an “SEC officiating crew.”
6. If a player switches teams in the NFL, he doesn’t have to sit out a year.
7. There are only 32 NFL teams, all of them loaded with talent, thus making it possible to actually know and follow the players on every team without having to spend three days in a soundproof room with 200 game films from last year, 400 local newspaper articles written by people with community college degrees, and a case of Tab Energy Drink.
8. Pro football’s championship team has to win at least its last three games in a row, in a tournament of the best NFL teams, to be crowned champion. A loss early in the year or a loss late in the year before the playoffs start means nothing. College football’s champion only has to get enough votes from the media to make it to a major bowl game and then win that one game.
9. Pro football can actually afford to have more than three camera angles covering each game, and the camera operators will not seek cover if it is raining or switch from the game to show you the look on the coach’s wife’s face (or the player’s mother’s face) after somebody gets jacked up.
10. The talent.
11. The talent.
12. The talent.
13. The salary cap. One team cannot monopolize the available talent in the sport, thus insuring the wealth or the history of one institution cannot carry it the following year.
14. A hack like Steve Spurrier couldn’t make it in the pros. Yet, he is considered one of college football’s greatest coaches. More than anything else, this should make you question NCAA football.
15. Finally, in the pros, there is no such thing as the BCS.
Okay, there are probably dozens of more reasons why college football couldn’t lick pro football’s behind, but this should at least settle the debate. Feel free to add more if you’d like, but I’m going to watch some pre-game shows. And to all you college football writers who the R.D. has just described, Click Clack, bitches!!
posted by TheRealDookie | 9:45 AM
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