Lameness
"...I guess it's 'cause you run with lame dudes too much/ Me lose my touch? Never that..."
Lately, I have been exposed to a lot of lame behavior out of people. Some of this lameness has worked in my favor, some of it has worked against me. I explain below:
Against Me:
1. Car dealership. Last year "Wifey" and I got Wifey a new car. It was pre-owned, and we noticed three problems while we inspected it. So, as a condition of purchasing the car we made the dealership sign a "We Owe," an agreement to fix the three problems after purchase. One of the problems has not been fixed after a full year. They keep telling us a part is on back order, which, even if it were true, does not mean they can ignore the problem. This is likely going to be a fight for us. Lame.
2. Several "friends." I have one or two formerly-tight friends who have been really crappy and flaky and/or silent lately. I'm not going to get into specifics, but don't worry. If you're reading this, its not you.
3. Two "I.M. Pros." A little background. The term "I.M. Pros" is a phrase a few friends of mine and I invented in law school to describe the psuedo-jocks who are a white-collar douchebags by day and by night attempt to "own" an intramural league. You know the type. The guys that show up with personalized jerseys, laminated playbooks, who have "tryouts" for their intramural squad, who berate IM refs during halftime and after the game is over, et cetera. I have come into contact with two of these ass-clowns lately in an intramural league to which I am merely a part-time fill in for some friends from work. One guy called me for traveling in a recent basketball game. Traveling! I was talking it over with some friends, and I don't think I even took a step. At most, I took one step. Traveling is three steps. Get a life. But it's the second guy who takes the tamale. He sent an email to three female employees at my company making fun of two male employees who play on our IM squad. This 40+ year old scrote literally was a) talking trash; about b) an intramural game; that c) he sent two three girls without the decency to even send to any guy who actually plays on the team. And no, these girls weren't girlfriends or wives or even die-hard fans of anyone on our team. Lame hall of fame.
4. My father. The R.D.'s one-half creator has been a real jerk lately. He recently declined to come to a family event, stating the excuse that he "had to pack" for an overseas trip. He also had the never to moan about getting his father's day greeting one day late, this after failing to send a present or even a card for a very special event for my kid, his grandkid. Even more recently, I come to find out that almost everyone on his side of the family took what appears to be a family vacation that no one even mentioned to the R.D., or, at least, conveniently neglected to mention was a family vacation. Fortunately, this lameness is nothing new, although it has not reared its ugly head in a while.
5. Muffin Lady. I bought 4 nice-looking fresh muffins from the grocery store. I got home and found out post-bite that two of them were still raw dough in the middle. The outside had been cooked, but the inside had not. It was pretty sickening. So, I brought them back the following week to inform the store manager - that is a major health code problem. Not only did the manager not seem to care, but she basically tried to tell me off because she couldn't understand why I waited 6 days to return them and was still upset about it. I mean, first of all, I had 2 good muffins, second of all, I am not paying $4 per gallon for gas to return 2 muffins the same day, and third, aren't you missing the point? Besides the fact that I brought it back in clearly-marked packaging, even if you aren't going to refund my two bucks, shouldn't you be concerned that you are selling potential gut disease to customers? However, this one is "in the middle" because it has a happy ending.
In My Favor:
1. Dumb valets. I recently got raped at a hotel valet, who charged me $10 to park my car. However, I told him I didn't have any cash (the truth), so he told me to pay at pickup instead of at drop-off, noting that he would mark my ticket. In addition to this being a lame policy (most places charge you at pickup, right?), it hurts tips for the guys doing the parking because you don't come back with cash if you have already paid. Anyway, when I left the dumb valet didn't check my ticket, so he just left the car and never hung around for the money. Oh yeah. Free Parking, Monopoly style.
2. Ice, Ice, Baby. A local gas station is really paranoid about drive-offs, so they have removed the little clip that allows you to fill-up without holding the pump, and make you pre-pay for everything. It is super annoying, especially in 100 degree heat. Today I went to fill up, and the woman gave me a hard time because I didn't know how much I wanted to prepay. I mean, I wanted to fill up. I can estimate that it was about 8 gallons, but, I cant say for sure. the exact amount So, I left her some money. I came back in with a bag of ice I wanted to buy, after pumping. The woman, who, by the way had a "6 months of service" tag, both forgot that I had not pre-paid the exact amount, and didn't know how to give me change after a pre-pay. She got so flustered that she forgot to ring up the bag of ice. Sweet lameness.
3. Dumb lawyering. I am changing this story a little bit, but basically I had an attorney, a licensed attorney, actually say this to me. I stated that a term in a contract was a "saving provision", a term that saves a contract from being illegal because it states that if the person who wrote the contract put something wrong in the contract, that term is modified to conform to what the law is. (For example, if we charged you $100 for an oil change, and the law says we can only charge you $90, the amount you owe will actually be $90). This attorney argued back that the term was not a "saving provision." The reason? Because it was only a provision that, if it applied, acted to make sure the contract was not illegal. Wow. [Note -- I am including this because I assume I will actually not lose this argument when someone else looks at it. If I do, expect a new entry on the "Against Me" front].
4. Oh yeah, the muffin lady. The happy ending is that when I told this story to the cashier, he apologized and gave me 4 muffins to me for free, and then told the bakery. The muffins are a lot better now, and it appears the problems has gone away. Apparently, he explained there was a little bit of a "language barrier" between the manager and the R.D. Yeah, as in, I don't speak lame.
Lately, I have been exposed to a lot of lame behavior out of people. Some of this lameness has worked in my favor, some of it has worked against me. I explain below:
Against Me:
1. Car dealership. Last year "Wifey" and I got Wifey a new car. It was pre-owned, and we noticed three problems while we inspected it. So, as a condition of purchasing the car we made the dealership sign a "We Owe," an agreement to fix the three problems after purchase. One of the problems has not been fixed after a full year. They keep telling us a part is on back order, which, even if it were true, does not mean they can ignore the problem. This is likely going to be a fight for us. Lame.
2. Several "friends." I have one or two formerly-tight friends who have been really crappy and flaky and/or silent lately. I'm not going to get into specifics, but don't worry. If you're reading this, its not you.
3. Two "I.M. Pros." A little background. The term "I.M. Pros" is a phrase a few friends of mine and I invented in law school to describe the psuedo-jocks who are a white-collar douchebags by day and by night attempt to "own" an intramural league. You know the type. The guys that show up with personalized jerseys, laminated playbooks, who have "tryouts" for their intramural squad, who berate IM refs during halftime and after the game is over, et cetera. I have come into contact with two of these ass-clowns lately in an intramural league to which I am merely a part-time fill in for some friends from work. One guy called me for traveling in a recent basketball game. Traveling! I was talking it over with some friends, and I don't think I even took a step. At most, I took one step. Traveling is three steps. Get a life. But it's the second guy who takes the tamale. He sent an email to three female employees at my company making fun of two male employees who play on our IM squad. This 40+ year old scrote literally was a) talking trash; about b) an intramural game; that c) he sent two three girls without the decency to even send to any guy who actually plays on the team. And no, these girls weren't girlfriends or wives or even die-hard fans of anyone on our team. Lame hall of fame.
4. My father. The R.D.'s one-half creator has been a real jerk lately. He recently declined to come to a family event, stating the excuse that he "had to pack" for an overseas trip. He also had the never to moan about getting his father's day greeting one day late, this after failing to send a present or even a card for a very special event for my kid, his grandkid. Even more recently, I come to find out that almost everyone on his side of the family took what appears to be a family vacation that no one even mentioned to the R.D., or, at least, conveniently neglected to mention was a family vacation. Fortunately, this lameness is nothing new, although it has not reared its ugly head in a while.
5. Muffin Lady. I bought 4 nice-looking fresh muffins from the grocery store. I got home and found out post-bite that two of them were still raw dough in the middle. The outside had been cooked, but the inside had not. It was pretty sickening. So, I brought them back the following week to inform the store manager - that is a major health code problem. Not only did the manager not seem to care, but she basically tried to tell me off because she couldn't understand why I waited 6 days to return them and was still upset about it. I mean, first of all, I had 2 good muffins, second of all, I am not paying $4 per gallon for gas to return 2 muffins the same day, and third, aren't you missing the point? Besides the fact that I brought it back in clearly-marked packaging, even if you aren't going to refund my two bucks, shouldn't you be concerned that you are selling potential gut disease to customers? However, this one is "in the middle" because it has a happy ending.
In My Favor:
1. Dumb valets. I recently got raped at a hotel valet, who charged me $10 to park my car. However, I told him I didn't have any cash (the truth), so he told me to pay at pickup instead of at drop-off, noting that he would mark my ticket. In addition to this being a lame policy (most places charge you at pickup, right?), it hurts tips for the guys doing the parking because you don't come back with cash if you have already paid. Anyway, when I left the dumb valet didn't check my ticket, so he just left the car and never hung around for the money. Oh yeah. Free Parking, Monopoly style.
2. Ice, Ice, Baby. A local gas station is really paranoid about drive-offs, so they have removed the little clip that allows you to fill-up without holding the pump, and make you pre-pay for everything. It is super annoying, especially in 100 degree heat. Today I went to fill up, and the woman gave me a hard time because I didn't know how much I wanted to prepay. I mean, I wanted to fill up. I can estimate that it was about 8 gallons, but, I cant say for sure. the exact amount So, I left her some money. I came back in with a bag of ice I wanted to buy, after pumping. The woman, who, by the way had a "6 months of service" tag, both forgot that I had not pre-paid the exact amount, and didn't know how to give me change after a pre-pay. She got so flustered that she forgot to ring up the bag of ice. Sweet lameness.
3. Dumb lawyering. I am changing this story a little bit, but basically I had an attorney, a licensed attorney, actually say this to me. I stated that a term in a contract was a "saving provision", a term that saves a contract from being illegal because it states that if the person who wrote the contract put something wrong in the contract, that term is modified to conform to what the law is. (For example, if we charged you $100 for an oil change, and the law says we can only charge you $90, the amount you owe will actually be $90). This attorney argued back that the term was not a "saving provision." The reason? Because it was only a provision that, if it applied, acted to make sure the contract was not illegal. Wow. [Note -- I am including this because I assume I will actually not lose this argument when someone else looks at it. If I do, expect a new entry on the "Against Me" front].
4. Oh yeah, the muffin lady. The happy ending is that when I told this story to the cashier, he apologized and gave me 4 muffins to me for free, and then told the bakery. The muffins are a lot better now, and it appears the problems has gone away. Apparently, he explained there was a little bit of a "language barrier" between the manager and the R.D. Yeah, as in, I don't speak lame.
posted by TheRealDookie | 9:39 PM
1 Comments:
I love that you have a muffin lady.
Also, I really don't see how your definition of saving provision differs from that other guys. But I may just be groggy from my 3 hour nap.
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