Stalling Out, Part Deux
"I want my spot back/ Take two....."
Two years ago (gosh, has it been that long?), the R.D. blogged about a cultural phenomenon sweeping America of which I was none too pleased about....throne talking. Hoping to educate society about a reasonable limit for the conversational arts, yours truly had hoped to at least make an impact. It seems, however, that just the opposite is true.
At work the other day, I happened into the public restroom as part of my mid-morning malaise, simply wishing to do my business (Number One, if you must know), and take a small break from the rigors of the law. What I witnessed there truly amazed and horrified me. Two "gentlemen" -- why I put this in quotes, you will soon see -- walked into the restroom and entered adjacent bathroom stalls. It was clear they knew each other because when they walked in they were talking to each other jovially about a bunch of mundane B.S. Then, these guys proceeded to lock their stalls, sit down, and continue the conversation!! "Oh yeah, he's a really nice guy," one said. "Do you know him?" "No, I dont, but I've heard that," the other answered, not missing a step. Needless to say, after washing up, I ran out of the restroom as fast as two feet could carry me.
What's worse, judging by their attire and by the location of this restroom relative to my entire building, I'm pretty sure these dudes were not construction workers. What I mean is, I think these were two guys with their juris doctor degrees. I wonder, can I report them to their respective bar ethics committees? I guess that's another story.....
Now, the R.D. is not normally one to eat someone's lunch for not following the social mores that traditional etiquette dictates. I dont care if you don't place your napkin on your lap, or put your fork and spoon on the same side of your plate, or anything of the sort. But I find this growing trend truly unacceptable. Doesn't anyone read the damn newspaper anymore? The way I see it, public throne talking should be limited to four specific instances:
1. Telling someone who is trying to get in your stall that it is "occupied" and therefore that they should leave you the hell alone.
2. Kindly asking your neighbor if they can spare some TP. [Of course, if they cannot, you should not get mad at them a la Elaine in Seinfeld, because, unless you've eaten some Mexican food and are in a dire emergency, this should be the first thing you check upon entering the premises, or risk being stranded at your own peril].
3. In extreme instances, asking for a "courtesy flush."
4. Telling someone who is engaging in throne talking to shut that shit down.
To my loyal readers, I hope you see it my way. If not, I just hope you remember this post if we ever find ourselves in adjoining commodes.
Two years ago (gosh, has it been that long?), the R.D. blogged about a cultural phenomenon sweeping America of which I was none too pleased about....throne talking. Hoping to educate society about a reasonable limit for the conversational arts, yours truly had hoped to at least make an impact. It seems, however, that just the opposite is true.
At work the other day, I happened into the public restroom as part of my mid-morning malaise, simply wishing to do my business (Number One, if you must know), and take a small break from the rigors of the law. What I witnessed there truly amazed and horrified me. Two "gentlemen" -- why I put this in quotes, you will soon see -- walked into the restroom and entered adjacent bathroom stalls. It was clear they knew each other because when they walked in they were talking to each other jovially about a bunch of mundane B.S. Then, these guys proceeded to lock their stalls, sit down, and continue the conversation!! "Oh yeah, he's a really nice guy," one said. "Do you know him?" "No, I dont, but I've heard that," the other answered, not missing a step. Needless to say, after washing up, I ran out of the restroom as fast as two feet could carry me.
What's worse, judging by their attire and by the location of this restroom relative to my entire building, I'm pretty sure these dudes were not construction workers. What I mean is, I think these were two guys with their juris doctor degrees. I wonder, can I report them to their respective bar ethics committees? I guess that's another story.....
Now, the R.D. is not normally one to eat someone's lunch for not following the social mores that traditional etiquette dictates. I dont care if you don't place your napkin on your lap, or put your fork and spoon on the same side of your plate, or anything of the sort. But I find this growing trend truly unacceptable. Doesn't anyone read the damn newspaper anymore? The way I see it, public throne talking should be limited to four specific instances:
1. Telling someone who is trying to get in your stall that it is "occupied" and therefore that they should leave you the hell alone.
2. Kindly asking your neighbor if they can spare some TP. [Of course, if they cannot, you should not get mad at them a la Elaine in Seinfeld, because, unless you've eaten some Mexican food and are in a dire emergency, this should be the first thing you check upon entering the premises, or risk being stranded at your own peril].
3. In extreme instances, asking for a "courtesy flush."
4. Telling someone who is engaging in throne talking to shut that shit down.
To my loyal readers, I hope you see it my way. If not, I just hope you remember this post if we ever find ourselves in adjoining commodes.
posted by TheRealDookie | 10:45 AM
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2 comments
