Gettin' Shelved
"Waited for a while/ thought you was my right thing / then things got frightening...."
This has not been a great week. First of all, I'm getting pounded more than an English currency exchange at work. I'm on pace to bill this week more hours than one of my colleagues did all of last December (she had a really slow month). Everyone wants to work with the new guy, I guess. Some days I feel like my free time has just gotten shelved for a while, although I still really like my job. Part of the problem is me not going to bed early enough, which I am not helping with a post-11 pm blog entry.
What's also bothering me on top of the fatigue is that I found out today one of my close friends (or so I thought) said some pretty terrible things about me to two of my other friends. A few of the things that were passed on were totally false, but most were completely distorted and told out of the sequence in which they happened, portraying me in a bad light. I know the person who said these things is really smart, and hence their words were not accidental, but I don't know if it was some type of hatchet job, ego boost, or if they're just crazy. I wish this person would have the courage to say these things to my face so we could deal with them, but of course that will never happen. The worst part is that this person had abruptly stopped talking to me a few months before for no apparent reason, and when I brought that up they got defensive, acting like it was all in my head. When we started hanging out again I thought everything was cool, but apparently not. Now, in terms of spending time with this person, I feel like I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't.
My only saving grace is it looks like the two people to whom I was talked about knew this story about me set off the bullshit meter and stood up for me. One of them even told me about the whole conversation, which really meant a lot. What meant even more is that they were looking out for me, even though I wasn't there.
As someone who comes from a family with a lot of divorce, it always hurts me extra hard when those close to me do things that are really inappropriate. I'm not a stupid person -- I can tell when the wheels are turning in someone's head when they're talking to me. It takes a really disturbed person to act like I'm crazy for sensing their discomfort, tell me nothing is wrong, and then go and rip me to my friends. I hope in the future things will go back to the way they used to be with this person, but for now I'm doing a little venting, along with a special prayer that they get themselves some muthafu'n therapy.
This has not been a great week. First of all, I'm getting pounded more than an English currency exchange at work. I'm on pace to bill this week more hours than one of my colleagues did all of last December (she had a really slow month). Everyone wants to work with the new guy, I guess. Some days I feel like my free time has just gotten shelved for a while, although I still really like my job. Part of the problem is me not going to bed early enough, which I am not helping with a post-11 pm blog entry.
What's also bothering me on top of the fatigue is that I found out today one of my close friends (or so I thought) said some pretty terrible things about me to two of my other friends. A few of the things that were passed on were totally false, but most were completely distorted and told out of the sequence in which they happened, portraying me in a bad light. I know the person who said these things is really smart, and hence their words were not accidental, but I don't know if it was some type of hatchet job, ego boost, or if they're just crazy. I wish this person would have the courage to say these things to my face so we could deal with them, but of course that will never happen. The worst part is that this person had abruptly stopped talking to me a few months before for no apparent reason, and when I brought that up they got defensive, acting like it was all in my head. When we started hanging out again I thought everything was cool, but apparently not. Now, in terms of spending time with this person, I feel like I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't.
My only saving grace is it looks like the two people to whom I was talked about knew this story about me set off the bullshit meter and stood up for me. One of them even told me about the whole conversation, which really meant a lot. What meant even more is that they were looking out for me, even though I wasn't there.
As someone who comes from a family with a lot of divorce, it always hurts me extra hard when those close to me do things that are really inappropriate. I'm not a stupid person -- I can tell when the wheels are turning in someone's head when they're talking to me. It takes a really disturbed person to act like I'm crazy for sensing their discomfort, tell me nothing is wrong, and then go and rip me to my friends. I hope in the future things will go back to the way they used to be with this person, but for now I'm doing a little venting, along with a special prayer that they get themselves some muthafu'n therapy.
posted by TheRealDookie | 11:32 PM
2 Comments:
Ugh. Well, at least we are always right.
Very true. Congratulations, I'm sorry.
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