What Can Dookie Do for You?
"Got lawyers watchin' lawyers so I won't go broke/ Now check it..."
Ladies and Gentlemen, it's time for Update: Dookie. Sorry I haven't blogged for a while, but a lot has been going on. First and foremost, I have a new job. I'm still going to avoid talking about work most of the time, more because it's boring and trite than because it's taboo, but for all my fans from afar, suffice it to say that my last job was in the public sector, and my new job is in the private sector. Now, my new job comes with lots of benefits.....besides the obvious huge pay increase, I can now spill all of my biased, dense, and 100% correct views about politics with the blogosphere. For instance, I noticed that the Democrats are favoring running Hillary for the White House in 2008, and are mired in litigation with my adopted home state of Florida regarding the Presidential Primary in January. Which leads to only one question: Are the Dems trying to lose the election on purpose? Call me the Magic 8 ball, because "Signs point to yes." Anyways.....
Unfortunately, my new job also comes with a few drawbacks. In additon to the increase in hours I have to work, everyone I know simultaneously wants legal advice. I mean, fo rilla, everyone wants a piece of the R.D., Esquire. For instance, I had a weird experience today with, I shit you not, my dry cleaner. Now, he's a really nice guy, but English is not his first language, and he also tends to be a bit overbearing at times. Today, he pounded my email inbox with five or six emails, not one of which was later than 6:00 a.m., (that's funny, when he asked me for my email address, I thought it was to email me when my pants were done, silly me), asking me for legal advice about a business issue he's having. Which led me to think two things. First, thank God I don't have a chime on my home computer that dings when I get an email, and secondly, note to self: never get a blackberry! When I wasn't able to answer my dry cleaner right away, because, let's face it, I have a pretty demanding job, he then proceeded to blow up my home phone line, calling my wife two or three times saying he sent me an urgent email.
Further complicating the situation is that said dry cleaner is currently in possession of two of my favorite polo shirts, which yours truly would seriously hope to see again in appoximately the same size and color. I mean, you don't have to be Cindy Sheehan or Janet Jackson to realize what type of leverage a shirt (or lack thereof) can wield over a man.
To make matters even worse than that, his dispute was with a client of one of my co-workers, so I couldn't give him any advise whatsoever, except to stop talking to me immediately. So, I sent him a really, really, really, super, super, duper nice email saying I couldn't give him any advice, but giving him the name of a local attorney who I hope can help. I don't think he understands what a "conflict of interest" is, but here's hoping!
And for all you other people the R.D. does bidness with, let's remember, the law section of your local library is a terrible thing to waste......
Ladies and Gentlemen, it's time for Update: Dookie. Sorry I haven't blogged for a while, but a lot has been going on. First and foremost, I have a new job. I'm still going to avoid talking about work most of the time, more because it's boring and trite than because it's taboo, but for all my fans from afar, suffice it to say that my last job was in the public sector, and my new job is in the private sector. Now, my new job comes with lots of benefits.....besides the obvious huge pay increase, I can now spill all of my biased, dense, and 100% correct views about politics with the blogosphere. For instance, I noticed that the Democrats are favoring running Hillary for the White House in 2008, and are mired in litigation with my adopted home state of Florida regarding the Presidential Primary in January. Which leads to only one question: Are the Dems trying to lose the election on purpose? Call me the Magic 8 ball, because "Signs point to yes." Anyways.....
Unfortunately, my new job also comes with a few drawbacks. In additon to the increase in hours I have to work, everyone I know simultaneously wants legal advice. I mean, fo rilla, everyone wants a piece of the R.D., Esquire. For instance, I had a weird experience today with, I shit you not, my dry cleaner. Now, he's a really nice guy, but English is not his first language, and he also tends to be a bit overbearing at times. Today, he pounded my email inbox with five or six emails, not one of which was later than 6:00 a.m., (that's funny, when he asked me for my email address, I thought it was to email me when my pants were done, silly me), asking me for legal advice about a business issue he's having. Which led me to think two things. First, thank God I don't have a chime on my home computer that dings when I get an email, and secondly, note to self: never get a blackberry! When I wasn't able to answer my dry cleaner right away, because, let's face it, I have a pretty demanding job, he then proceeded to blow up my home phone line, calling my wife two or three times saying he sent me an urgent email.
Further complicating the situation is that said dry cleaner is currently in possession of two of my favorite polo shirts, which yours truly would seriously hope to see again in appoximately the same size and color. I mean, you don't have to be Cindy Sheehan or Janet Jackson to realize what type of leverage a shirt (or lack thereof) can wield over a man.
To make matters even worse than that, his dispute was with a client of one of my co-workers, so I couldn't give him any advise whatsoever, except to stop talking to me immediately. So, I sent him a really, really, really, super, super, duper nice email saying I couldn't give him any advice, but giving him the name of a local attorney who I hope can help. I don't think he understands what a "conflict of interest" is, but here's hoping!
And for all you other people the R.D. does bidness with, let's remember, the law section of your local library is a terrible thing to waste......
posted by TheRealDookie | 8:12 PM
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