Klutz-upreme.....
.....or Uber Klutz, if you prefer.
The R.D is having a great weekend, but for catching a severe case of Klutz-itis. Ever see that movie, Pure Luck, where Martin Short is a walking train wreck, and can't go two minutes without getting into an accident? Well, that was yours truly this weekend. Lets see if I can remember everything that has befallen me.
1. I had a toilet overflow on me. Twice.
2. I had a vacuum cleaner's dirt container fall out when I was taking the vacuum out of the closet, spilling all of the previously-contained dirt all over the dark closet, and tripling my vacuum time.
3. I somehow stepped on a shard of glass or splinter, causing a cut on the ball of my right foot that smarts every time I take a step.
4. I attempted to clean out a kitty litter box only to have the litter spill all over the floor because the cat (who is declawed, by the way), clawed holes in the bottom. (He must have done it with his rear-leg claws. When I attempted to clean up the mess, unbeknownst to me, the shopping bag I attempted to place the litter in also had a hole in the bottom. The second shopping bag I got to back-up the first bag, you guessed it, also had an unforeseen hole in its bottom. This quadrupled by vacuum time.
5. I attempted to wipe my face with a napkin, and the corner of the napkin poked me in the eye and made me tear up and have blurred vision.
6. I picked up an improperly sealed bottle of baby aspirins, and the bottle fell out of my hands. I also almost had a fan fall on me when I opened the closet door. Neither of these made contact with me, but of course I lost both the fan and most of the aspirins.
7. I unplugged an extension cord, which fell on top of a recycling bin, which then tipped over and fell on my foot. So, yeah, apparently my life has turned into a game of Mouse Trap.
I'm sure there have been more over the past two days, but I probably sustained a head injury and have forgotten them. Thank God I did not attempt a barbecue on this Memorial Day weekend, or I quite likely would have blown myself up.
The R.D is having a great weekend, but for catching a severe case of Klutz-itis. Ever see that movie, Pure Luck, where Martin Short is a walking train wreck, and can't go two minutes without getting into an accident? Well, that was yours truly this weekend. Lets see if I can remember everything that has befallen me.
1. I had a toilet overflow on me. Twice.
2. I had a vacuum cleaner's dirt container fall out when I was taking the vacuum out of the closet, spilling all of the previously-contained dirt all over the dark closet, and tripling my vacuum time.
3. I somehow stepped on a shard of glass or splinter, causing a cut on the ball of my right foot that smarts every time I take a step.
4. I attempted to clean out a kitty litter box only to have the litter spill all over the floor because the cat (who is declawed, by the way), clawed holes in the bottom. (He must have done it with his rear-leg claws. When I attempted to clean up the mess, unbeknownst to me, the shopping bag I attempted to place the litter in also had a hole in the bottom. The second shopping bag I got to back-up the first bag, you guessed it, also had an unforeseen hole in its bottom. This quadrupled by vacuum time.
5. I attempted to wipe my face with a napkin, and the corner of the napkin poked me in the eye and made me tear up and have blurred vision.
6. I picked up an improperly sealed bottle of baby aspirins, and the bottle fell out of my hands. I also almost had a fan fall on me when I opened the closet door. Neither of these made contact with me, but of course I lost both the fan and most of the aspirins.
7. I unplugged an extension cord, which fell on top of a recycling bin, which then tipped over and fell on my foot. So, yeah, apparently my life has turned into a game of Mouse Trap.
I'm sure there have been more over the past two days, but I probably sustained a head injury and have forgotten them. Thank God I did not attempt a barbecue on this Memorial Day weekend, or I quite likely would have blown myself up.
posted by TheRealDookie | 9:11 PM
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